I have always considered myself quite a nice person. I like food of all shapes, flavours and colours. From every country and continent. I don’t discriminate, I am an equal opportunity eater. It’s only the doctors who say I’m intolerant. And certain foods who refuse to tolerate me. They certainly refuse to recognise and respect my right to eat them without major physical discomfort and distress.

Gluten and lactose are not my friends.

Despite the negative attitudes surrounding me from many of those I love best, (cakes, ice cream, hot toast) I decided to become a chef. Not always easy when you live in a bread and milk filled world. I like to think that this has helped me become a better person as I embrace my differences and refuse to let the gluten get me down. I believe InTolerance. I am the InTolerant Chef.

Food should not be about what you can’t eat, but what you can and what you enjoy eating. This blog is about my journey of cooking and eating and discovery. It’s not a definitive guide to allergy awareness nor do my intolerances make me an expert. Your body is your responsibility, not mine. I only know what works for me.

I can tell you this..... No glutens were harmed in the making of this website.

September 11, 2010

Happy Anniversary

This is one of my favourite Anne Taintor comments.

Sometimes it's hard to know.

This year BigJ and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. (pause for gasps and applause)

I couldn't stand him.
.....let me explain.....


We first met when I was only 4 years old. Thrown together through the democracy of public school and public housing. We lived across the road from each other and were best friends. We walked to and from school together, played at each others homes and made up clubs. We were even in grade 3 together. All was bliss for 4 years, and then I moved away.

BigJ was never far from my thoughts. Every night I would say my prayers, "God Bless, Mummy and Daddy and Sulu and SpecialK, and Me, and God Bless BigJ (names have been changed to protect the innocent)Every night for many years, how sweet...

After a good few years we were sent back to Canberra, and I had all but forgotten my little buddy. But one day.... who do you think came coolly riding past on his BMX? That's right, my BigJ.

He paused,

I thought "who's this weirdo?"

He said "I remember you"

I said "I don't"

You can see it was meant to be.
But then, as we gazed across at each other, we both said, together

" Oh, it's You!"

(pause for Ahhhhs....)

He was never far away. He was always hanging around. He was so very annoying. I couldn't stand him. I would hide in my room and pretend not to hear him. He didn't care. He tricked me into going out with him, I was too embarrassed to say No. So I took my brother on our first date.

It didn't matter how mean I was...I know that sounds hard to believe, but I repressed my natural niceness and drew on my inner intolerance..... he just wouldn't go away. My mother even started setting a place for him at dinner. She said she felt sorry for him.

I had other offers, I went out with other guys. But he was always there...

Eventually he wore me down. It was his relentless being there. His stick-to-itiveness. That's when I knew he was there to stay.

We were married when I was still a teenager, and have been together ever since. I won't lie to you, it hasn't always been easy. We don't always like each other. But we always love each other.

Someone asked me how have we stayed married so long? My reply was that you just have to make up your mind. If you're not in it for good, it won't be any good.

My policy of InTolerance has been redefined over the years. Sometimes that annoying thing or thought buzzing around constantly is worth not shooing away. That is how this blog was born. Hopefully it too will still be going strong in another 20 years.


  1. Aww what a gorgeous story. I loved the bit where you said "who do you think came coolly riding past on his BMX?"! Hehe, so gorgeous!

  2. This is such a beautiful story ... It makes me happy to read stories like that really happen. :)

    I'm happy I've found your blog! Your recipes look so good, and I especially appreciate you witty and winking style of writing! I'm also lactose-intolerant and have problems with sugar and grains, so I can relate to that very well! Anyway, I love your attitude of enjoying food regardless of that!

  3. That's a very sweet love story. Obviously you two were meant to be together. And, I agree it isn't always easy (my hubs and I will celebrate 21 yrs in a few months.) Congratulations to both of you on your Anniversary.

  4. Happy Anniversary, what a gorgeous story
    You were such a litte cutie I like your bow and curls!

  5. What a precious, special story! I have a huge smile on my face :) Happy Anniversary! Love the intolerance tie in ;)
    Heidi xo

  6. Happy Anniversary. What a great story. I too got married as a teen and have been married for 34 years now and I totally agree with your statement that you just have to make up your mind and that if you're not in it for good, it won't be any good. Exactly!

  7. What happened to that cute little boy? Why is one of his hands reaching for a cupcake as he is kissing you?

  8. WHAT A LOVELY STORY!! Awwww! :) :) :) Happy Anniversary and here's to many more aww-some years together ;)

  9. Sniff, sniff. That's such a lovely story! Congrats on your anniversary! Marriage is hard at times, bu oh-so-worth-it. It's so nice to hear such a positive story.

  10. Fabulous story. I absolutely agree that you have to be totally committed to making it work or the marriage is doomed. Congratulations to you both.

  11. Happy Anniversary, congrats and such a great achievement!

  12. oh my goodness - what a beautiful beautiful story :) and so mucch more romantic - Mr BBB and I met at a pub!
    Happy Anniversary!

  13. Thankyou everyone for such lovely comments.

    Guess what? BigJ really pulled the stops out this time, he is not usually a romantic person, but I think he realised this was a big one... I got a beautiful diamond ring! A bunch of 12 red roses delivered to work! And a wonderful degustation dinner at Rubicon,5 courses and dessert... I may not eat for a week...

    See.. it takes at least 20 years to finally start reaping the rewards of all the nagging..oops I mean 'training' that goes into making a fantastic husband!

  14. Congratulations! You really were meant to be! - wow A DIAMOND RING and rosees and dego dinner? Spoilt!!

  15. So wonderful! Congratulations on 20 glorious years! We're just a little ahead of you, and I can barely remember life without my other half.. :)

  16. Really brilliant post, I love a bit of 'meant to be' love! Sorry for the delay in replying before, I've been away on holiday. Loving your work on the Salmon Patties - capers and horseradish, mmmmm!

  17. I've got little tears in my eyes..., what an awesome post and a deega at Rubicon. Congratulations lovely, a beautiful story, I can't write anymore coz of the tears.... you've got me going!!!

  18. Oh what a sweet love story! Congratulations on the milestone anniversary :)